all my tears have been used up

Review: Week ending Sunday 7 July 2013

This week: Stand Up Guys, Tom Odell, The East and another terrible American 'comedy' film

At the moofies

The East is a timely thriller, written and starring rising star Brit Marling. Here, she plays a highly trained operative from a security firm sent undercover to infiltrate an eco-terrotist cell called The East. Her aim is to establish which majoe corporations are being targeted by the group in order that her boss (Patricia Clarkson) can add them to her client roster and protect their reputation. But, as she gets to know the group, it's clear that things are not as black and white as she thought...

Let me share a secret with you: despite seeing hundreds and hundreds of films, I am not particularly good at following complicated plots. I often have to head online for a plot synopsis or get someone else to explain to me what went on, because I haven't really understood. Now, the reason I mention this here is because at every point in The East I could have correctly predicted what was going to happen next. While there are some nice touches here, it has to be one of the most predictable movies ever made if I not only understood it but also saw every twist and turn coming a mile away.

It's partly the fault of some clumsy direction from the 'hit you over the head with an image or reference which obviously means that is going to be important later' school of direction. It's also a pretty tired and predictable story which has been told lots of times. Someone joins a group with odd views and spends lots of time with them? What do you suppose might happen next?

The East is saved from being a dreadful tele-movie by some great performances from Marling, Ellen Page and Alexander Skarsgard and by one or two lovely scenes where we learn more about the dynamic of the group. All in all, though, it has the feel of an arthouse project that has tried to shunt itself into a megaplex but has over-Hollywoodised itself in the process. 6/10

This Is The End is the latest horrible frat-boy gross-out American comedy from Seth Rogen and chums. The highly meta genre-subverting idea of the film is this: the actors play exaggerated versions of themselves at a party at James Franco's house while, outside, the world ends.

So, do you get Franco, Rogen, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, Jay Baruchel and Danny McBride cleverly satirising the Hollywood lifestyle, while lovely cameos from the likes of Paul Rudd and Rihanna tell a morality tale? Or do you get 100 minutes of ejaculation and nob gags?

[Yes, you're right. It's (b).]

At the risk of sounding like someone's great grandad, I *hated* this movie and I simply don't understand how anyone can find it even remotely funny. Why? Well. For example, someone has apparently worked out that the F-word is used over 300 times in this film. In the same way that Zack Snyder fails to realise that hundreds of Superman based explosions are yawningly boring, Rogen and pals also don't realise that liberally sprinkling the screenplay of a 'comedy' with F-bombs isn't funny in itself. Nor is watching B-list celebrities meet a sticky end. ("Oh look. It's Aziz Ansari falling down a big hole. Who cares?")

I would also warn you that this film contains Danny McBride. McBride is now my #1 Hollywood hate figure because every time I see him in a film he is about as funny as a dose of herpes. Indeed, there's a scene in This Is The End where even the cast talk about how unfunny Your Highness was. Imagine how it felt for us viewing public?

Somehow, however, McBride doesn't manage to be the worst thing about this movie. The worst part is that everyone involved appears to believe that they are about a gazillion times funnier than they actually are. This is a film which appears to have been conjured up while pissed and stoned at a party at James Franco's house and was green-lighted by the studio before anyone had sobered up. Watching grown men make endless wanking gestures whilst shouting 'motherf*cker* at one another JUST ISN'T FUNNY.

If you think I'm exaggerating or missing the hilarious point of this film: there is a scene where the main characters talk about raping Emma Watson. If that's not enough to end this lowbrow, brain-dead, unfunny nonsense for good, we may as well welcome the Rapture now. 0/10

After one revelation about my cinema viewing, here's another: I never read or listen to reviews of films before I've seen them myself. I really like sitting down in the cinema with no preconceived ideas about what a film is about or what the critics think of it. I think you're always at least subconsciously affected by reviews and it also means you somestimes get a huge surprise when you sit down in a film where you know *nothing* about it. (Beasts Of The Southern Wild is a good example. I sat down without having seen a trailer and without reading anything about it. It could ahve been a cartoon for all I knew).

More often than not, I find myself agreeing with reviewers. If I love a film, the critics often do and when I hate a film, the chances are they did too (with the odd exception. Kermode loved Star Trek Into Darkness: he is wrong).

I say all this because occasionally there is a film which is either panned or given a universal 'meh' by the critics which I absolutely adored. Stand Up Guys is one such film. Here, Christopher Walken plays, well, Christopher Walken - a nice, pleasant older fella who may well break your neck at any moment. The film opens with him collecting his pal Val (Al Pacino as, well, Al Pacino) from prison where he has just served a 28 year sentence for murdering a young man. It becomes quickly apparent that the father of the young man has waited a long time for revenge, which he is keen to exact...

The sniffier critics said that Stand Up Guys is a straight to DVD movie that has been nudged into cinemas by its A list cast (the brilliant Alan Arkin also features). I have to say that I found it much more engaging than that. Perhaps it is because the film is somewhat sentimental - something I do like in a movie - and partly because it manages to be funny (Lucy Punch is terrific as a brothel owner), warm, interesting and moving. There are some brilliant scenes here and some genuinely great performances, particularly from youngster Addison Timlin.

Stand Up Guys is nothing terribly original and you can reasonably argue that Walken, Arkin and Pacino are just doing the things that they always do in a movie. But, when they do it so beautifully, what's not to like? I daresay I am in a tiny minority here but I absolutely loved this film. Terrific. 9/10

Music to work by

The Brit award, endless publicity and not being a fan of Ben Howard and Ed Sheeran all meant that I was less than enthused about hearing the debut album from 'next big thing' Tom Odell. I'm always a bit wary of something that a record company appears to be shoving down my throat and the ubiquity of the likes of Jessie J and Emile Sande from previous years put me right off.

However, after hearing the single Another Love I was curious enough to give it a go, and I am delighted to say that I am glad I did. His voice is just about on the right side of 'annoying' - I had to turn the Passenger album off after two songs as his nasal vocals were making my brain ache - and there's clearly a bit of a theme of love and loss here but there's enough nice songwriting and melody to make it work.

Many of the reviews I have read have compared Odell to Keane, in a way that flatters neither party. Of course, being a fan of the 'world's biggest piano recital band' means that I'm likely to enjoy a similar sound.While I'm not sure the comparison is that valid - the use of a piano appears to be the reason - the two perhaps just about overlap in a giant pop Venn diagram, and so that would help to explain why I enjoyed A Long Way Down very much.

Of course it might not be off the radio for the next 12 months and we might all be fed up of him by Christmas. In the meantime, though, I think A Long Way Down is a great record. I appreciate that may not be a cool thing to say in five years, though.

Bedtime reading

I am currently gobbling up Suzanne Collins' marvellous The Hunger Games. Well written, beautifully paced and with some lovely character development it's certainly a real page-turner, and I have the next two books waiting for my attention. The world of Katniss and Peeta should see me right through the summer.

Next week: The Bling Ring, The Internship and The Hunger Games